Hi. My name is Kyla. And I’m a waitress in a college town.
So go ahead and say anything you want to me. Because I’ve probably heard it.
For my one dedicated reader I do have (shout-out to Mommy!) and to the few scragglers that may come across my lovely page, I’d like to go over some simple restaurant etiquette.
“What?” you may ask. “I do not know this etiquette you speak of.”
Of course you don’t. Nobody does – unless they have waited tables themselves.
So, lucky for you I am going to share what really goes on in your waitress’ head. Well, almost. (Your probably don’t want to know what really goes on in your server’s head if you want me to be completely honest.) But I’ll give a general idea…
1. We get paid $2.15 an hour. Not minimum wage. So LEAVE TIPS. And when I say LEAVE TIPS I don’t mean leave $4.00 for a $60 full course meal. At least twenty percent is a good rule to follow; we really are relying on you for our income!
2. We don’t set prices/rules/policies for the restaurant. We just work there. So don’t get mad at us and not leave a tip when we charge you for extra things you ask for! We’re just doing our job.
3. Don’t ask us where your food is. We don’t cook it.
4. When we say, “Is there anything else I can get for you?” the reply “A sack of hundred dollar bills!” is not the right answer. It’s not funny. Really.
5. Don’t flag us down to place your order and then not be ready. We have A LOT to take care of and standing at your table while you browse the menu doesn’t do anything to help anybody’s situation. Ultimately, it slows down YOUR food because we get backed up with our other tables.
6.Don’t ask for a to-go box and then not use it.
7. Leave tips! Oh wait, did I already say that? But seriously, we remember the non-tipper’s faces.
8.When the restaurant is clearly closed for the evening and the staff is ready to go it’s ok to hurry up and finish your meal and leave. I promise it is. Just go. Please.
9. Ok, so this is a biggie: Pick-up lines. A few every now and then can be cute and flattering but c’mon guys. At least use GOOD ones! Here’s a little example of THE WORST one I’ve ever heard: “Wanna know how you’re like my pinky toe? You’re little, cute and I’m gonna bang you on the coffee table at the end of the night.” Excuuuuuse me while I throw-up.
10. And finally. If you are with a big group of people, have a little patience. This especially goes for busy days (football games, etc). If you don’t want to wait for good food then GOOOO AWAYYYY!
People are seriously ridiculous and you can never plan for anything because nothing ever happens as expected. You just have to go with it and hope they’re good tippers!
Well, that’s my rant for the evening. My heart is seriously beating hard because these things really do happen more than they should. People are gonna be how they’re gonna be. I get this. But I am grateful that I do have my job because it has toughened me up. Fosho.
And it’s not all bad; there are just as many good people as there are bad and it’s definitely refreshing. Some people just have that nice demeanor about them and it’s appreciated.
Ok, I’m done.